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Have you ever felt like you were going to explode?

Me too...

I'm not talking about when you've eaten too many Egg McMuffins at Mickey D's and feel like you are going to throw up. I'm talking about when everything is bottled up inside of you and you can't seem to sort it all out. It's like an instinctive need to sift through all the junk, understand, and turn the project called "me" over to someone else for a while.

Maybe that is what this is all about — discovering, claiming, and letting what is on the inside of me out — living out who God has created me to be.

It's certainly not something I am comfortable with.

First and foremost I would classify all of this as a "working project" — beginning as this blog, breakfreeinme.com (that's a funny choice of words because we are all a "working project."). It is a place where I am openly exploring and sharing my own life journey, while at the same time trying to understand what "being Christian" is suppose to look like in our emerging culture. It is one thing to communicate about it, and another to live it. We can say we believe something, but what are we saying with the choices and actions of our life? What does our belief (or faith) look like?

What does life look like?

While I am not always certain of a lot of things, I am certain of this: we can't be Jesus — no one can. But we certainly can allow Jesus to be us. And if we can more fully understand how our humanness stands in the way of yielding our entire life to this Jesus, then the more of "self" we give away to God, and the more He can reconstruct and reshape — redeem. Remember, humanity was originally created in the image of God (imago Dei).

What to think?

Think of it this way... We are all on a journey. And these questions are posed: 1) Where is your journey leading you? And: 2) How are you getting there?

And here are two things to consider when trying to answer these questions: We can't save our self, and we can't fulfill our self — also two things our humanness seems delusional about.

Each day we learn from our experiences and we discover more about what is real and what we make up as we go along. Whether we are willing to claim it or not, we are all passionate about something. I have wondered what would happen if I were to let what God has placed on the inside to actually break free in me — passion, gifts, desire, compassion, thoughts, energy, hopes, dreams, failures, talents, ideas, fear, love, Jesus... And I got to thinking... What if I were to actually let Jesus be me?

You may not understand what God has done for you through Jesus, the Christ, and you may not even believe it at all. You may have only heard Jesus' name being thrown around like a loose gesture. At this point you may not even choose to know more at all. But the neat thing about being on a journey is that we all learn — we all learn something. How we use that knowledge is the real key to the equation. We can use it to dig deeper — to discover more — or we can discard it like the trash from a devoured meal that leaves us feeling sick and unsettled.

So what?

I once heard a person describing someone else as "comfortable in her own skin." This person was describing the girl as being real; a true person — the true fleshly human God created. I think we have to allow God to help us begin deep within ourselves and live outward — discovering, claiming, and living out who God uniquely created us to be. I believe this is the true life God intends for each of us — inside-out. The Apostle Paul describes this as being a "living sacrifice" (Romans 12:1-2).

But again, talking about it and living it are two very different things; aren't they?

What about you?

What if you were to let Jesus be you?

It's not a new concept or analogy. It's just one we have not fully grasped. I still haven't. But for me, I believe God is revealing more through this project — this "working project" called "me." And I hope the discovery continues. I'm still not comfortable with it. But maybe when reconstruction and reshaping are involved, I should think of inside-out like this: becoming more comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. Weird, I know... But saving and fulfilling nonetheless. True life.

If you have this same hope, I invite you to embrace the journey you are on.

Project Scope:

The scope of this project is much more than this website/blog. Ultimately, it is wherever God leads... But the vision thus far includes parts of the following:

• Blog
• Book
• DVD-delivered topic intros for small group studies
• Encouragement and teaching outlet for the community of faith

Project Logo:

The logo "insideout" (written backwards) came to me as I visualized the design on a t-shirt, but looking at it with the shirt turned inside-out. This way you are seeing the backside of the words, as if you were originating inside and looking out.

I also think it was influenced by the fact that during the time of its development I was up to my eyeballs studying Biblical Hebrew. As you know, the Hebrew language is read right to left, and paged backwards (as apposed to the English language).